There are no hard and fast rules for conducting a
Buddhist wedding. Some things, however, are often practiced, but Buddha wanted this to be a social event, with the happenings decided by those who were celebrating . For example, some in Japan it choose to have a Western-style wedding, complete with a minister regardless of what religion the young couple might practice.
Keep this in mind if you are helping plan a Buddhist wedding: the ceremony is decided by the preferences of couple and their families. Since Buddhism is so widely practiced throughout the world, there are many styles of Buddhist weddings, each with its own cultural significance and standards. The following are general guidelines and commonly practiced traditions, which may or may not be followed by the parties involved.
Wedding Dress
Since this is a non-religious affair, the bride and groom's attire is determined mostly by their region: silk gowns in China and much of south Asia, saris in India, and yukatas in Japan. The bride's gown is generally red, since it is considered by most Eastern cultures to be a lucky color. In Japan, couples often wear Western clothes for the ceremony, but have photos made of themselves in traditional yukatas for their wedding album.
The Wedding
When following tradition, a wedding is held at a temple, but today it may just as likely take place at a banquet hall. Not all Buddhist temples perform marriages, and the use of lamas in the ceremony is a relatively recent tradition.
A Buddhist marriage is less about joining of two people for a lifetime, but rather as a partnership between two people to help each other reach Nirvana.
The couple walks down the aisle holding a juju, strings of 21 beads representing Buddha, themselves, and their families. The couple bow in front of either a Buddha image or a lama, and recite prayers and chants they feel are significant, lighting incense and candles in front of the Buddha. The Buddha's sermon at Rajagaha, verses 19-22 is a popular choice, as it deals with marriage in relation to spiritual enlightenment.
Either the parents of the couple or the lama places a loop of strings on their heads to connect them, symbolizing a tying together of their lives and minds. The couple then make an offering, which can be anything from food to medicine. Sometimes offerings of flowers are made to the parents, and a donation of money is made to the temple.
If lamas are present, they also wear loops of string, and recite blessings for the bride and groom. Finally, red paste is applied to the foreheads of the couple.
After the Wedding
Like the ceremony, the reception is also a matter of personal choice. Indian practitioners will have a procession line, in which guests tie strings around the wrists of the couple and offer advice.
After the celebration, the newlyweds go to their new home rather than traveling for their honeymoon. If the ceremony didn't take place at a temple, the new couple may visit one afterward to make an offering of food.
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As a long time member of ULC, Rev. Long created the seminary site to help train our ministers. We also have a huge catalog of Universal Life Church materials. I've been ordained with the Universal Life Church for many years and it's Seminary since the beginning and have loved watching the continual growth of the seminary.